I don’t know about you, but the song on repeat in my head this December is not Santa Baby or Joy to the World. No, this year I’ve been humming a lyric from an old Counting Crows song: “It’s been a long December…” Illness and tragedy and sadness have parked themselves in our neighborhood this month, and I haven’t handled it well. In fact, on Saturday night I sat despondent on the edge of my bed and said through tears to Ryan: “I’m just. so. sad.” Sad that the kids and I spent the majority of the month fighting fevers instead of building gingerbread houses. Sad that the Advent activities I planned never materialized. Sad that it gets dark so early. Sad that the neighbor kids’ daddy chose to end his life instead of fight for it. Sad that Daisy’s cancer is back with a vengeance. Sad that Connecticut is in such unspeakable pain. But then…oh, but then…God sent my 8-year-old son to pull me from the slop and murk and disappointment of this month with a simple request: “Mom, will you please mail this letter?” 
“Just like He came the first time, in the margins, and the earth received her King, I know He is still here, ruling the world with truth and grace. I know He cares and He sees and He will be found. I know He is the light of the world, even though the night is so dark, so pitch black.”
Fighting for joy with you this December,
Kristen
(Letters to Newtown can be mailed to P.O. Box 3700, Newtown, Connecticut, 06470)