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Doing it Scared

I find it no coincidence that almost three years ago today, I wrote a post for our adoption blog that began with precisely the same six words I wanted to open today’s post with…

“The truth is…this ain’t easy.”

This week three years ago, we found ourselves a few days away from hearing whether or not an Ethiopian judge would grant us legal guardianship of Selah and, “I honestly could not sleep under the weight of it all.” 

I remember not being able to breathe very well that week. We were so blessed, so hopeful, so close to the mountaintop, and yet so spent from the climb. We were grinding it out. We were breathless. And you can bet we were scared.

My only air supply was Romans 5:2, which I must have repeated to myself a hundred times a day for a week.

“Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.”

** 

It’s three years later, and we’re gasping for air again. We are so blessed, so hopeful, so close to another mountaintop, and yet so spent from the climb. In less than two weeks, Advance Church will finally have its grand opening, and we are grinding it out again…scared and breathless. The fatigue is real. The fear is familiar. The uncertainty is maddening. I don’t bring it up to complain, but instead to look you in the eyes and say from experience:

 “Obedience isn’t a lack of fear. It’s just doing it scared.”

Jen Hatmaker, 7

It doesn’t matter whether you are planting a church or trying to be consistent in attending one; waiting for a baby or cleaning up after one; preparing for marriage or working to save one; overcoming an addiction or helping a friend through one; putting down roots or digging them up…

Obedience isn’t a lack of fear. It’s doing what God says, scared.

May we be people who advance confidently and joyfully toward the places God is calling us, breathlessly obeying our way through our fear...

 “The goal of life isn’t to make it to a point where we can breathe easy. It’s to get to heaven breathless. Tired because we’ve been faithfully and passionately following God – through valleys and mountains…It’s always hard, but our reward in the future makes it worth it. We’ll rest then. And we’ll push on now.”

~Steven Furtick

 

2012: He Goes Before Us

We are home from a week away in Southern California, where we took a collective deep breath on sand and shore and secret paths that eventually led to the same place: 2012.

The pause between calendar pages strengthened our family's resolve to follow Jesus as unhesitatingly in 2012 as we tried to follow him in 2011, the courage for which Charles Spurgeon reminds us will come from Christ's companionship:

"Wherever Jesus may lead us, He goes before us. If we know not where we go, we know with whom we go. With such a companion, who will dread the perils of the road? The journey may be long, but His everlasting arms will carry us to the end. The presence of Jesus is the assurance of eternal salvation, because He lives, we shall live also.

Let us put full trust in our Leader, since we know that, come prosperity or adversity, sickness or health, popularity or contempt, His purpose shall be worked out, and that purpose shall be pure, unmingled good to every heir of mercy. We shall find it sweet to go up the bleak side of the hill with Christ; and when rain and snow blow into our faces, His dear love will make us far more blest than those who sit at home and warm their hands at the world's fire..."

Precious Jesus, draw us, and we will run after thee."

Christmas Eve at Advance

Has it been 12 days yet? I'm too stubborn to cry uncle, but I really want to. I'm getting pretty sick of myself, so I can only imagine how you must feel. :-)

Well, anyway...

I've been praying for what's going to happen at 4 PM on Saturday since we were holed up in that dreadful, snowed-in, Eagan, Minnesota townhome a year ago. I have no idea what possessed me to start doing it, but every day in the shower I would pray for God to bring hundreds of people to Advance Church on Christmas Eve 2011. It was of no concern to me that Ryan and I were the only members of a church that didn't exist, in a city we weren't living in yet, or that the Christmas Eve service I was praying for would only be a preview experience since Advance wouldn't officially launch until April 2012. I just felt like I was supposed to pray for something big, so I did. And then we got to work. 

***

Today Christmas Eve at Advance is no longer a dream. It's tomorrow. 

I can't believe it. Any of it. Whether 30 people or 100 people show up tomorrow is irrelevant. The fact that there is a place to show up to at all is beyond anything I could've asked for or imagined. The last 11 months have been one grace, one answered prayer, one miracle after another, and tomorrow's final preview experience will be, above all, an expression of our thanks to the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace who decided in advance to to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through a baby they named Jesus.

"This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."

So if you are in town, stop by. If you need a ride, tell us. Someone will come pick you up. When we say we can't wait to see you, we really mean it. You are the reason we dreamed and prayed and packed up our lives and got to work...because we wanted to give you a place to belong on Christmas Eve in Las Vegas,  a place where your life could be...altered.

 

 

A Vision Unfolding

For everyone who has asked us how things are going in Vegas, please watch this special and compelling message from my husband that lays out the vision we have for Advance Church, the crazy ways God has come through for us in the last nine months, and the underlying reasons why we love this city so much.

 

 

If you are in town, please join us for our next two preview experiences on Sunday, November 20 at 10 AM and Saturday, December 24 at 4 PM. Click here for details and directions. 

He is Worthy of Our Faith

"Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God."

~William Carey

A year ago October, I was knee deep in pink bubble wrap preparing to leave a home.

 This October, I am neck deep in grace working to build one.

 

A year ago October, I made a list of people I hoped God would move from Minnesota to Las Vegas, too.

By the end of this October, nearly everyone on the list will have risked everything to join Him in our Summerlin living room. 

A year ago this October, I followed a cement truck home from the gym, e-mailed my husband and said, “What if we call it Advance?”

This October, they are all calling it Advance, too.

***
I don’t know what you are facing this October, but hear me out when I tell you that Jesus wins. When I think about all the ways God has won for our family, for our friends and their families, and for Advance Church in the last 12 months, I am reminded, as Charles Spurgeon says, that “a praying breath is never spent in vain” and that, as Britt Merrick says, "our problems are only as big as our God isn't."

So fix your gaze in His direction and don’t let anyone tell you your dream is too unreasonable or the diagnosis is too bad or the relationship is too broken or the job search is too futile or the chores are too mundane or the situation is too permanent or the debt is too insurmountable or the prayer is too audacious or that you are too small to be used by our big God.

Trust, obey, fight, work, hope, pray, move, and live like the victory is complete. Because it is. It's been won for me. It's been won for you.

So it's time...

"...it’s time to go to war, brothers and sisters. Learn to do battle in the spiritual realm. Study Ephesians 6 and pay heed to James 4. Prepare for war and get ready for victory because the gates of hell will not prevail against the going forth of the Church. Don’t miss out. Don’t sit on the bench. Identify what God is doing in your marriage, in your family, in your community, and get on mission. Get on board. Get in the battle. Because whether you live or die, Jesus wins. He is Christ our Victor, and He is worthy of our faith.” 

~Britt Merrick, Big God

  

Anarae's Story

This past January, our friend Sara left it all behind--most of her possessions; her awesome boyfriend; her family; her job; the church that showed her Jesus--and followed us out to Vegas with nothing but a promise from God that...well...turned out to be everything.  

After being here only a month, God had provided Sara with a place to live, a place to work, fun places to meet hundreds (yes, hundreds) of people, and an undeniable gift to really connect with and love the friends she was making. She started playing kickball. She started swing dancing. She started inviting people to Advance Church. 

People like Anarae. 

Anarae's Story from Advance Church on Vimeo.

 

 Sara, thank you for your faith and for how seriously you have taken God's call to love Las Vegas. 

Anarae, thank you for giving our little church the opportunity to be a part of your story. You are a beautiful reminder to us of why we came to Vegas and why we can't wait to stay. 

~

 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.  And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

2 Peter 1: 3-7

~

MN to Vegas - Risk the ocean; there's only grace

‎"But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God."

Acts 20:24

 

Sure of Shade

The plan was simple (wonderful even): hop on a trail we haven’t been on yet; walk a minute or two to a shady spot; eat some lunch; do some sketching of what we see.

We had our sunscreen on. The cute lunch tote was full of goodies. I had the special sketching pencils and a blanket. I was ready and feeling pretty awesome.

A couple minutes after we hit our stride (and by stride I mean Landon running up ahead with a stick, Evan stopping every three seconds to pick up—and talk about—the rocks, and me repeatedly telling a lagging Selah that under no condition would I carry Her Royal Whiney-ness), a few disturbing things occurred to me:

It’s hotter out here than I thought it would be.

I don’t see shade anywhere.

Evan and Selah are wearing flip-flops.

There was this moment, you know, when I really thought everything was going to fall apart. I could only see knee-high desert bushes in every direction; the sun was fierce; and, I wondered how far I could actually allow Evan and Selah to walk in those sandals while I tried to find shade. (oh by the way, I was practically barefoot, too.) 

True to form, though, I kept us going. I refused to believe there was no shade nearby. It seemed impossible to me. Come on…God gave Jonah a ‘lil plant thingy to sit under. Surely he has a tree waiting just over there for us. I’m like 60% sure of it. 

Two minutes later, I was 100% sure of it. 

Under a scraggily mess of branches and leaves, we enjoyed our time eating and sketching...just how I hoped that we would. 

On the way back to the car, I got to thinking about the choice we have the moment we think it’s all going to fall apart; that instant we regret heading out on the new trail because clearly we didn’t think this through. When we are hot, wearing the wrong shoes, and scanning the horizon for shade and seeing none, we can either panic and retreat or remember what God has promised us and advance.

Steven Furtick says it this way:

“When what you see around you doesn’t match up with what God has spoken inside you, you’ve got to hold on to what you’ve heard.”

That isn’t easy to do. It wasn’t easy for the men and women God used throughout the Bible—and it certainly isn’t easy for us today—but we cannot waiver in our faith simply because our visibility is limited.

We need to be as sure of the shade up ahead as we are of the sun overhead. Then, when we get to the place God has promised us, we should bust out the special colored pencils and sketch what He has brought us there to see.  

Our Kids. A Las Vegas Street.

Have you ever been able to see something that no one else could? I'm not talking about that imaginary friend you had in Kindergarten. I'm talking about being able to see something that God has promised you even when every one around you thinks you are crazy; something that incites a riot in other people's minds because they just. don't. get. it?

Have you?

I remember the push back like it was yesterday. People didn't get it, you know. The idea that young families actually live in Las Vegas? No way. Absolutely not possible. It's filthy there. It's unsafe. You can't seriously think it's a good idea to force your kids to move away from their Christian friends in your cul-da-sac and live in a place like that. Completely irresponsible, selfish, risky, and unfair. Have you really thought about this?

As one variation of that conversation after another fell on our ears, all I could imagine was this...

Our kids. A Las Vegas street. Playing joyfully for nearly two hours with new friends who do not yet know how much God loves them. I could've watched that all night because out there among the sidewalk chalk and scooters I could see my Savior...and that sight alone was worth every hard conversation we had as we risked everything to come here. 

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20

We Could've Missed This

Every year when April 9-18 rolls around, our family pauses to remember the week Ryan and I spent in Ethiopia in 2009. We celebrate Selah's birthday, we remember her Gotcha Day, we touch base with our travel group, and we once again subject our Facebook followers to the videos I made to document Selah's adoption story and our time in Addis Ababa. 

It's our way of reminding ourselves of God's faithfulness to our little family while also encouraging those we know to remember, as Pastor Judah Smith tweeted this week, that we should not be content to "live a just-enough life while serving a more-than-enough God." Instead, we should be willing to risk boldly to do what Jesus tells us to do, fully expecting God to show up with everything we could ever need and then some. 

As this year's 'Ethiopia week' comes to a close, I want to re-post an entry from our adoption blog that I wrote on April 7, 2009, just two days prior to leaving for Africa. I hope it encourages you today to risk outrageously by being willing to go after whatever unpredictable thing God is waiting on you to pursue...especially if that "thing" is his Son's grace. 

We Could've Missed This

With the realness of our departure to Ethiopia finally settling in, I can’t escape these five words: “We could have missed this.”

I first heard Steven Curtis Chapman utter this phrase two years ago while listening to him tell his family’s adoption story on an informational DVD America World Adoption sent us. And even though Selah’s tiny body has yet to meet my arms, I already feel the weight of Steven’s words. We seriously could’ve missed this. All of this. 

Had we been too afraid, too content, or too unwilling to look at the depravity in the world and admit that we are responsible for helping to remedy it, we could’ve missed the challenge, grace, faithfulness, and resolve that the previous 130 blog entries tell about. Not only that, but we could’ve missed the opportunity to stare at the sweet face above and know with certainty that she has not been forgotten or abandoned because the parents who are coming for her know that they serve a God who hasn’t forgotten or abandoned them either. 

Many of you have told us in your unbelievable kindness that we inspire you. While that is flattering and touching, we never intended for this journey to draw attention to us. Instead, our intent has been to show you the source of the light we are humbled to carry, and we hope that in doing so we have painted for you a more accurate picture of Jesus than maybe you’ve seen before. Because of Jesus we have been adopted by God, and the passion with which we have pursued Selah’s adoption is just a small expression of the intensity with which Jesus is pursuing each of you. 

While our pursuit of Selah hasn’t been perfect, the grace by which we have been sustained during this journey is, hence Selah’s middle name. We hope that seeing glimpses of God’s grace in the story he has written through our family is what has inspired you, and that when you think of Selah, you will think of God. 

***

“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.”  ~Ephesians 1: 4-6

Selah,

*kl