KristenLunceford.com

Love That...Paper Solution

I'm pretty sure the only thing I dislike more than Paper is voicemail...and maybe clowns. Yes, definitely clowns. Oh, and ice cream trucks. Gah. Anyway, I avoid Paper whenever possible. I can’t stand the piles he makes. I gave up scrapbooking when Mac boogied into my life and wooed me away from him. I have myself on every don’t-you-dare-send-me-junk-mail list that exists out of spite for him. I resent my printer for being such an ugly dust collector and belittle it for being so mechanical and archaic. I roll my eyes every time I have to make photocopies for my kids' teachers (why is this not a one-to-one laptop school?). And, judging by the sorry state of my handwriting these days, I clearly can't be bothered to actually write on him. So Paper and me? Yeah, we don’t really hang out anymore.

Except for…ahem…on Tuesdays.

For all my digital snobbery (and I’ve got it in spades, folks), I have this one weakness—this one lasting soft spot—for Paper. I don’t know what it is, but I have never played well with his much younger friend, Mr. Digital Calendar. Mr. Digi has failed me too many times, mostly because I can’t stand looking at him. I realize this isn’t his fault, but I need someone to blame for me forgetting that I was supposed to help out in Landon’s class last month or that our coffee supply needed restocking last week, so I blame him. 

Which brings me back to Paper. Every Tuesday I sit down with my two favorite printables and marvel at how happy they make me. The first is my Week at a Glance friend, Mr. Awesomesauce. Everyone say, “Hello, Mr. Awesomesauce.”

I love him. He’s been so good to me. Click here to make him yours.

Next up: Mr. Eat Sheet. He listens intently while I choose recipes. He escorts Selah and me to the grocery store. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear so that I don’t forget anything important. He serves his purpose well and takes no offense when he hits the recycling bin as soon as the groceries are unloaded. He’s wonderful, and he's available here. 

All joking aside, I have noticed a real change in my attitude since I started using these two printables at the beginning of January. I don't dread meal planning quite as much, and our very full schedule seems less overwhelming each week because I can easily see everything in one place whenever I'm in the kitchen (which, um, seems like all day sometimes). Sure, I still use iCal which is synced up to Ryan's Google calendar, but only to copy stuff down from it onto Mr. Awesomesauce. I know it's a little old school in the era of iThis and Siri that, but iDon'tcare. This paper solution to my calendar woes has improved my attitude toward certain aspects of homemaking, and...

“If there is anything I have learned in the course of my fast and furious mothering journey, it is that there is only one thing in my entire life that must be organized. The kids can be running like a bunch of hooligans through a house that appears to be at the bottom of a toaster, and yet, if organization and order can still be found in my attitude, we are all doing well. But if my attitude falters, even in the midst of external order, so does everything else.”

~Rachel Jankovic

9:05 AM

" Almost every task a mother performs in the course of a normal day could be considered a transformation. Disorder to order, dirty clothes to clean, unhappy children to peaceful, empty fridge to full. Every day we fight against disorder, filth, starvation, and lawlessness, and some days we might almost succeed. And then, while we sleep, everything unravels and we start again in the morning — transforming."

~Rachel Jankovic

The Caped Cute-Sader

I’ve always despised February. It’s so…pink. And the birthdays. Good gracious, the birthdays. And anniversaries. And proposals. I know like 20 wonderful people born or married or proposed to in February, many within days of each other. So let’s face it: before Facebook gave me an excuse to stop sending people cards in the actual mail, the celebratory dog pile on my calendar was easy to resent. That's why Ryan and my anniversary is March 5^th and not a week earlier. It’s also why we didn’t get married in May or June because...well...you do the math. No February babies for us, thank you very much.

Nothing is as bad as “Singles Awareness Day,” though. Except for maybe watching the desperate guys in the grocery store the night before. Step away from the white stuffed animals and stale chocolates. Shame on you for not ordering that thing she showed you on Etsy two months ago. Phish.

Wait, though, there’s more. Look at that mom over there buying those impersonal Valentines for her kids to take to school tomorrow. How generic and lazy of her. And wait just another minute…she’s not even going to buy some candy to go along with those? So cheap. Shame on you for not looking on Pinterest two weeks ago for a craftier Valentine your kids could give away proudly. Have you no respect for the month of February?

I hope you see where I’m going with this.

I’m the worst. Really, I am. And I need to repent of my bad February attitude before my kids catch on and get all jaded and cynical, too (and before everyone I know and love with a February birthday un-friends me).

Which brings me (finally) to the point of this post: The Caped Cute-sader.

I normally avoid subjecting myself to craftiness of any kind with my kids because the money spent and the messes made are rarely worth it. I lack the patience to help Landon get it perfect while repeatedly telling Evan that the project isn’t about eating, it’s about making, while also listening to Selah turn glue sticks into a family of “peoples” who all talk at once.

So handmade Valentines? Definitely not my our thing. 

It’s a new year, though, and I have a new attitude (or so I like to think), so I proposed two crafty ideas to the boys and they chose the Caped Cute-sader. They honestly would've been fine with the generic, Target-bought Valentines they've come to expect from me, but that is not an option this year. No, we are going to make some memories, dang it, and we're going to do it with capes on Totsie Roll Pops!  

I bribed promised them they could watch some of the Pro Bowl if they shopped for supplies with good attitudes, so off we went.

 

Step 1: Gather Supplies

Card stock, hole punch, heart stickers, tape, suckers, black marker

Step 2: Download this template and print on cardstock for the mask and cape.

Step 3: Cut out all the capes and masks before bringing your kids to the table to help.

Step 4: Put it all together without yelling at anyone or being too much of a perfectionist about things.

Step 5: Blog it...

...and admit that you only completed two out of 42 because you didn’t follow Step 3, and Step 4 became difficult when a certain someone turned scraps of paper into a family of “peoples” with heart sticker eyes that were meant for the capes ... and another someone kept asking if he could eat the suckers ... and a third someone didn't want to help because things weren't perfectly ready ... and you realized you are glad you tried this in January so that you can't blame February for it not going as planned. 

To be continued...

:-)

 

This House

"In this house, things aren't always going to be perfect, but we aren't striving for perfection. We are reaching for the presence of God."  ~Steven Furtick

Now watch this:

 

Seeing Through the Simple

"Joy is always a function of gratitude--and gratitude is always a function of perspective. If we are going to change our lives, what we're going to have to change is the way we see." 

~Ann Voskamp

My parents’ friend, David, used to stay at our house from time to time while he finished his Ph.D at Pacifica Graduate Institute. He commuted from out of state to Santa Barbara, and we always benefited from the calm perspective he brought to our then-imploding home. The two of us shared a love for the written word, and, honestly, I don’t know what I looked forward to more: his visits, or the thank-you letters he would leave for us afterward. I have yet to come across any more well-written, hopeful, or comforting notes than his (I’m sure I still have a few buried in a box in our garage).

Because David was so well spoken and well loved by our family, you better believe I was paying attention when it was his turn to speak during his graduation ceremony. When the time came to address his parents, he said, “Thank you for always showing me how to see the divine in the simple things.”

The hair on my middle-schooler arms stood on end, and I’ve spent every day since learning how to see God in places no one else thinks to look. It’s why I take pictures of feet and spilled coffee and bathtubs and ordinary days that begin like this:

When we learn to see God in places no one thinks to look, we start looking like people no one has seen. We become more grateful, expectant, joy-filled-despite-our-circumstances kinds people…but only if we are first willing to approach the simplest, most unlikely place of all and deal squarely with what we see there: our salvation, wrapped in swaddling cloths, and lying in a manger.

The shepherds did, and it changed the way the saw everything—and everyone—forever.

"The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen." Luke 2:20

So how are you planning to see--and celebrate--the divine in the simple this Christmas and on into the new year? I'm hoping this printable calendar and mobile app from Ann Voskamp are going to help me be more intentional about noticing at least one thing every day for which I am grateful...even if no one else is looking. 

DIY Gift: Encouraging Wall Art

"If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." ~Romans 12:8

 

Let's ease into this series of Christmas posts with a little gift-making idea, shall we?

Last month I wanted to suprise Ryan with a gift of encouragement the morning of Advance's third preview experience, so I did what all thoughtful, creative wives do: I stole from Pinterest:

I figured I could recreate something like this for Ryan's office by using a phrase that is especially meaningful to him: "If not you, then who?" 

Those words were a game changer for us last year as we tried to discern where God was calling us to plant a church. On the flight home from Ryan's initial, exploratory visit to Vegas, God clearly spoke those words to him, and they proceeded to haunt us as we ran like Jonah in the opposite direction of Nineveh. Of course we eventually obeyed, but not before pretending for a while that we didn't hear exactly where God had told us to go.  

Needless to say, the phrase is a big deal in our home and in the story of Advance Church, so I figured it needed a place in Ryan's office. 

 I started by purchasing a package of 6" stick-on vinyl letters from Office Depot for $10 and a piece of pre-cut 2x2 plywood at Home Depot (around $9). I did a rough cut of the letters and arranged them on the board (I was short one letter O, so I cut the tail off Mr. Q and saved myself another trip to Office Depot). 

Next (while I went back and forth on whether or not I should clutter it up to include a comma after 'you'), I made pencil marks every 8" to divide the board evenly into three. I used the edge of a level to draw some guidelines.

It wasn't until I peeled and applied the letters that I realized I forgot to account for a border in my measuring, so there's way more empty space at the top than there is at the bottom. #craftfail 

I didn't have the patience time to fix my mistake, so I let it be and headed outside with a $4 can of glossy spray paint.

I put two coats on and let it dry for a couple of hours before removing the letters and sanding it a little to give it a rougher look.

Then I stood back and gave myself an 'A' for effort, but a very animated verbal lashing for opting not to include the comma. #grammarfail

In the end, Ryan was encouraged (though he did nail me on the comma omission), and I proved to myself that I could tackle a craft project without having a perfectionstic meltdown. I will definitely attempt this again...and hopefully do a much better job next time. 

To sum up:  If you are looking for an easy, inexpensive, and personal way to encourage someone this Christmas, consider going this route...and then remember to send me a photo of your masterpiece!

When Motherhood is Boring

"The task of parenting is simply impossible. Any sane look at what is required of parents by God is completely and utterly overwhelming. This is why the task must be undertaken in grace, by grace, through grace, and because of grace. The grace of God in this provides two things all parents need. The first is forgiveness for this morning, and the second is strength for this afternoon."

~Douglas Wilson, My Life for Yours: A Walk Through the Christian Home

Here's something you will never hear anyone admit, so I'll just come right out with it:

Motherhood is boring.

I'm serious. Some days (like today) I wake up thinking, "I am so bored." Not in an I-have-nothing-to-do kind of way because that is certainly NOT the case. And not in a nothing-interesting-ever-happens kind of way (you should've smelled what I cleaned up at 7:01 this morning!). I'm talking about the kind of boredom that accompanies knowing that what you did yesterday will have to be done again today, in much the same way, and at almost exactly the same times. My family is going to need all the same things they needed yesterday--food, clean clothes & sinks, an escort to and from school, time to rest and play, a lot of some nagging to clean up--and sometimes the mere thought of the mundaneness of it all makes me want to stay in bed. 

Assuming I am not the only one who battles this kind of boredom, I thought I'd share three things that help me emerge from the funk. This doesn't work every time, but it worked today...

1. Say it out loud.

Before the kids were even out of bed this morning, I admitted to my husband, "I am so bored." I wasn't complaining, I was confessing, and there was power in that. Putting words on my "blah-ness" gave me an honest starting point for my day that helped me know what attitudinal obstacles I was going to have to overcome if I wanted the day to go well. 

2. Preach 1 Corinthians 10:31 to yourself.

 "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

When "whatever you do" seems boring to you, remember who you are doing it for, and even that smelly, sticky bathroom will be more rewarding to clean. But even if it's not, at least you've tried to look at things from an eternal perspective. So be gracious to yourself...and then recite the verse again.

3. Pay attention to transformation.

It's easy to groan at the boring day in front of you and forget the hundreds of other days just like it that God used to transform your family. So be on the lookout today for the fruit of yesterday's labor.

Two examples from my morning:

The first does not require words.

The second is less dramatic but was just as encouraging: 

This morning my boys crossed the street to school and ever so boldly and cheerfully expressed their thanks to Carl (the crossing guard). They do this every day without being prompted, and today I was able to see it for what it really was: transformation. The hundreds of boring, repetitive hours my husband and I have invested over the years into making manners and gratitude a rule in our home is now bearing fruit outside of it, and people like Carl don't find that boring or mundane at all.

3. Change your posture.

If you've been around me for any length of time, you've probably heard me say (more than once) to my kids, "Change your posture." In our home, slumped shoulders and mopey attitudes are a form of disrespect and ungratefulness and are not tolerated. And yet that's how I walk around sometimes until I remember that I, too, have a heavenly parent who is asking the same of me.

Change your posture, Kristen.

So instead of moping around the house this morning resenting the laundry and to-do list that, curiously enough, resembled what I tackled yesterday, we changed things up and did our best to combat bordedom with beauty...

...and books...

...and just like that, things seemed a lot less boring and a whole lot better.

"If God doesn't rule your mundane, then he doesn't rule you. Because that's where you live."

 ~Paul Tripp

 

Back-to-School Dinner Table

I know I'm about three weeks behind on blogging this, but I still thought it would be fun to share what our dinner table looked like for our first-day-of-school celebration. I wanted to pull off something special without spending a lot of money, so I scrounged up a few things we already had in our house (as per usual) and ended up with this (and, yeah, I turned apples into tea light holders)...

The brown, almost unrecognizable copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends hails from where I came from: the 1980s. It's tattered from my elementary-age fingers, and I love how it (and my childhood copy of Charolette's Web) added just the right amount of nostalgia to our table. 

Just a couple weeks removed from my balloonalicious photoshoot in Corona, California, I thought, "Why not try to pull off a little {Bre} Style of my own?" So I stood on the table and hung balloons. (Selah did not know what to think of such blatant rule breaking and made sure to tell on me during dinner!) I also let the kids watch Bugs Bunny while I finished cooking to keep them out of my way  the pre-feast mood calm. 

 I topped it off with the boys' favorite pasta dish and donuts for dessert...

"Even if it is a simple meal, it can be served festively when time is put into the way it looks, not just the way it tastes. Tablecloths, napkins, flowers, or candles all say, 'This is going to be a wonderful time.'" ~Nancy Wilson, Praise Her In The Gates, page 39

The Mother at Home

I'm re-reading John C. Abbott's The Mother at Home to keep me in check as I wrestle to stay motivated and cheerful in my mommying this summer. I found this excerpt particularly encouraging...

"When our land is filled with virtuous and patriotic mothers, then will it be filled with virtuous and patriotic men.  This world’s redeeming influence must come from a mother’s lips.  She who was first in the transgression, must be yet the principal earthly instrument in the restoration. Other causes may greatly aid.  Other influences must be ready to receive the mind, as it comes from the mother’s hand, and carry it onward in its improvement. But the mothers of our race must be the chief instruments in its redemption. 

The brightest rays of the millennial morn must come from the cradle.  This sentiment will bear examining.  And the more it is examined, the more manifestly true will it appear.  It is alike the dictate of philosophy and experience. The mother, who is neglecting personal effort, and relying upon other influences for the formation of virtuous character in her children, will find, when it is too late, that she has fatally erred. The patriot, who hopes that schools, and lyceums, and the general diffusion of knowledge, will promote the good order and happiness of the community, while family government is neglected, will find that he is attempting to purify the streams which are flowing from a corrupt fountain.  It is maternal influence, which must be the great agent, in the hands of God, in bringing back our guilty race to duty and happiness. Oh that mothers could feel this responsibility as they ought. Then would the world assume a different aspect.  Then should we less frequently behold unhappy families and broken hearted parents. A new race of men would enter upon the busy scene of life, and cruelty and crime would pass away. Oh mothers! reflect upon the power your Maker has placed in your hands.  There is no earthly influence to be compared with yours. There is no combination of causes so powerful, in promoting the happiness or the misery of our race, as the instructions of  home. In a most peculiar sense God has constituted you the guardians and controllers of the human family."

Relationships F.A.Q. Resources

Last night via a live webcast to Advance Church's community groups, my husband briefly addressed five FAQs relating to sex, marriage, and relationships. If you missed it, you can watch it here. 

This morning Ryan posted a comprehensive list of resources that you will want to devour whether you are single, engaged, happily married, unhappily married, divorced, widowed, re-married...you name it. 

I wanted to get in on the fun, too, so below are a few  resources that have challenged and changed me as I have reflected on my single years, forgiven my parents for their divorce, pursued my husband through seven years of marriage, and wrestled with trading in my cultrually-biased view femininity for a more Biblically sound view of what it really means to be a woman, wife, and mother. 

Singleness

Best Deals for Singles

“Marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification” explains John Piper. “There will be unique rewards for each, and which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.” This PDF from the women of GirlTalk is loaded with  practical, Biblical advice on how to seize the opportunities the season of singleness offers. 

Stewarding Singleness

A perspective of singleness from a 40-year old member of Mars Hill Church in Seattle.  

When You Don't Have a Better Half

In this in-depth article, Carolyn McCully (via The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood) explains how single women can cultivate femininity in non-romantic relationships, while encouraging the men around us in their application of masculinity.

Let me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

A solid collection of  essays on what it means to be a Christian woman, whether single, married, or widowed.  A must, must read for any woman seeking to more fully understand, embrace, and walk securely in God's calling for her. 

Dating non-Christians

A great response from Joshua Harris to the question, "Is my relationship with this non-Christian guy ok?"

Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage

For the bullet-list lover, John Piper offers up more than fifty key questions (and organizes them by category...oh my!) you should be asking yourself and boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance during your courtship. 

Marriage

I can't reinforce strongly enough my husband's recommendations to lean into these three resources:

Bed of Honor

A little post I did on keeping your marriage bed pure, yes, but lovely also. 

Pastor Mark's Date Night Tips

Try 'em!

5 Things I Wish I would Have Known About Being a Church Planter's Wife

Obviously these are super specific to my experience as a pastor's wife, but Kendra Duty's reflections speak to any wife who is seeking to be a source, not a drain, to her husband. 

Godly Wife, Mother, & Friend

The first in a seies of insightful posts from Grace Driscoll about where we ought to find our identity as women. 

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney 

You will be hard-pressed to find another book that lays out a clearer, more practical, and more inspiring vision of biblical femininity than this one. It's a "Top Five Books That Changed My Life" kind of read. 

Becoming God's True Woman by Nancy Leigh Demoss

A fantastic starting place for women as they ponder the question of godly womanhood and the ways the feminist revolution has perhaps robbed them of fully embracing femininity as God intended for it to be embraced. 

Divorce

Divorce and Remarriage

This sermon PDF is a quick reference for what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. 

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25-year Landmark Study

The Amazon reviews explain this book far better than I could, so go have a read. 

***

Okay, I could go on like this all day, but between my list and Ryan's, you should have plenty to keep you busy...for now.